We live in fascinating times on our beautiful planet. Every now and then somebody will comment on some bizarre aspect of human behaviour and query what a visiting Martian would make of us and our ways.

I’d like to suggest it wouldn’t just be a passing alien that would be baffled, but 99% of the human population would probably consider cutting up two NEW pairs of jeans to make one new pair madness. And, what’s more, the totally sublimely self-regarding fashion elite call the process upcycling.
Can’t use the label upcycled for my gardening jeans, but they were definitely given a new lease of life when repaired with ‘recycled’ denim patches culled from an ancient pair of jeans. Another pair so old and falling to pieces that even I wouldn’t wear them for gardening.
What do you think? Okay, not such a flattering cut, but looking at the two photos, give mine a good hot wash to remove the mud, and, perhaps they’re almost on trend. Of course, they need to be styled with vintage leather boots and a perfect, crisp white shirt. Or perhaps not, and what about the other outrageously wasteful pair? At a mere £880, I think not, and, on principle most certainly not.